It does not, I’m convinced, occur to little children that putting something 2 inches in front of your nose is rude. Nor do they find it problematic to continue talking to you while holding said item in front of your face.
Are you on the phone? Not an issue for a child. This does nothing to prevent them from their task, and they will often speak a little louder, in case the phone conversation is keeping you from hearing the request.
On the potty? We’ve discussed this in an earlier post, but suffice it to say that this is actually a preferred position for the prospective listener to be in, for they are cornered and easier to approach while “at their duty”.
Correcting another child? Speaking to another human present? Thinking? Cooking? Reading? Sleeping? These are all no problem for children, and in fact your immobility in those moments make you a prime target.
On the potty? We’ve discussed this in an earlier post, but suffice it to say that this is actually a preferred position for the prospective listener to be in, for they are cornered and easier to approach while “at their duty”.
Correcting another child? Speaking to another human present? Thinking? Cooking? Reading? Sleeping? These are all no problem for children, and in fact your immobility in those moments make you a prime target.
This
situation happens more than occasionally to me, though I have continued the anti paper-in-the-face training with this kind of conversation:
Me - “Hey,
honeybun, can you move that beautiful picture for a minute? I just need to finish grading this. And remember it’s rude to put.....
A child - “
Look at the ladybug I drew and I made a number two all by myself and I like
blue and the cloud is big because it’s about to rain. “
Me - “That’s
great but I’ll be able to look at it better when you move the paper
and I can finish this. Be patient.”
Sometimes
the child will then turn on their heel and begin to walk away, as if the moment
is lost and any value on the page expired with my lack of attention. I quickly
call the child back to me and say something like:
“Come
back. (with my hand gently on child’s
arm) Now, be patient and as soon as I’m at a good stopping point, I’ll give you
my full attention. Wait here. It’ll just be a moment.”
No doubt a
child who is old enough to notice is thinking: “A good stopping point? Seemed like a good stopping point when you
just stopped to tell me to wait!”
True.
Nevertheless,
I believe in the value of delayed gratification. You know, waiting to get what you want because
the outcome is better. Like, your mother
is actually looking at your picture and paying it attention instead of
mindlessly mumbling, “Uh huh. So nice.”
Also, there
is value in simply being patient when someone is already engaged. Especially if it involved interacting with someone else before you got there. Waiting your turn, as it were. Manners.
Now, let me be clear: I am not referring to a child with an emergency. Bleeding, yelling, crying, and rushed information all get my immediate attention!
(child slides into room talking so fast and breathlessly they are almost unintelligible):
"Mama there's a dog from next door you know the one that is big and it isn't Princess and not the dog from 2 houses down but that other one and it's in the field and the chickens are out and the little kids are out there trying to get the dog not to see the chickens and you better come stop them before that dog sees the chickens!"
But yes. Delayed gratification, patience, and waiting your turn is good. And I will continue
to teach this to my children and anyone else in my sphere of influence that
need reminding of these good things. (I also can hear what I am saying and I can learn a lot from my own correction!)
This is the sweetness of mothering... :-)
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