Ya' don't say?

On the recommendation of my dear friend Kathleen (hereafter referred to as "Kat"), I will post on "words and phrases that would be fun to say all day". I'll begin with her suggestions, and maybe you will add a few too......

"I'll tell you one thing..."
"Like I always say...."
"I wouldn't eat/say/do that if I were you..."

and now my additions...

"whodunit?" (at every opportunity - sometimes just as an exclamation)

"pea-sized brain" (this is always funny, especially when speaking of animals)

"Well, frankly...." (to begin a sentence that answers ANY question)

"I'm an ordinary woman, with feelings!" (can be sung like Carol Burnett in "Annie")

"Have you no SANITY?"

"Surely you jest."

"It hurts me to say this...." (always appropriate when answering a question with "no")

"Ya' don't say!"

"Morbidly obese" (I'm not sure how, but work it into conversation - it's fun to say)

"There comes a time in every man/woman/boy/girl 's life...."

"Speaking of ____ , ..." (insert any word and begin speaking on a topic of your choice.)

"Hang on. I think better lying down" (use anytime someone else begins speaking)



It hurts me to say this, but, repeating anything all day would be fun simply because it would annoy everyone else.

You know you look.

I know it's been said before, and maybe it's trite, but I'll say it again.

People act like monkeys.

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where some guys at the office are watching George through a glass door? He's ranting and flinging his arms around while holding a banana. The guys give him the nickname "Coco".

Well, besides flinging our arms for emphasis, we share another quality with the monkeys. I'm not the first to notice this, but it bears repeating. We gotta look at what comes out of our bodies.

I watched as one of my children, while working on some schoolwork, scratched their nose. (name, and gender sensitive pronoun omitted to protect the innocent) You know what this child did, right? Looked at what was brought away from said nose.

This child is no different from any of the rest of us. (so get that "poor, gross little kid" look off your face!) We ALL look at what gets scratched off the skin, what comes out of the nose, off the hiney, and out of the hiney. When people blow their noses or cough, they look. When they scratch the inside of their ear with a finger, they look.

What is this about? I know, and I'll tell you.

I'll begin by admitting that I've shamelessly taken part in this activity. First of all, it's entertaining. Also, I think I have gleaned some important knowledge about my bodily-goings-on by looking at what comes out of it. I'm sure LOTS of medical facts have been acquired this way - however, I'm not as interested in what comes out of other people's bodies. That's the difference between normal people and doctors.

Anyway, I won't stop looking, though I will always try to be discreet in front of you.

Oh my stars!

My 6-year old, Simeon, spends a lot of his "free time" (read: time) playing with legos while listening to "Hank the Cowdog". (if you've never heard these books-on-tape, or read one of the books by John R. Erickson, you're missing some excellent entertainment indeed.)

At first I wondered if he was actually hearing any of the audiobook. My question has been answered by these quotes from Hank that Simeon uses in everyday life....


"Oh my stars!" - used as an exclamation for just about everything

"Where is the ____ I so richly deserve?" - "dessert" is often the inserted word, though can be
used to "ask" for a number of things

"It's me. Hank the Cowdog. Head of Ranch Security." not by way of introduction, but just as a comment

"There's been a murder on the ranch!"

"You stole my bacon, Hankie" (Pete the barncat says this)

"Turn that disrespectful thing off!"

"The moon, made of chopped chicken-liver" (an odd, incomplete sentence that brings a smile to his little face)

Check out some Hank paperbacks or audiobooks (read hilariously by the author and original songs are included!) from your local library and enjoy some free chuckles - it's good for you!

Gamers

During the Christmas holidays, my bro and his wife came to visit, and we all went to the "Putt-Putt Golf and Games" down the road.

I have always loved golfing at these establishments. One year, when I was in 8th or 9th? grade, our parents even gave us a season pass to our local "golf and games" venue. It was so sweet! They had 3 water slides, along with the bumper cars, go carts, and golfing...this was summer goodness. :)

Anywho, back to the original story...

After we played our golf game, we went inside to see what video game offerings there were. I had already cashed in some free coupons for the kiddys, so they had tokens to spare. What we found was what I remember from my youth - a poorly-lit, windowless room, a cacophony of loud video game noises, smells of questionable origin, dingy looking floors (or is that the awful color of the carpet?), with the same group of people who frequent arcades.

Who are these people, and why are they always at the arcade?

My guess is that this is, perhaps, the only time these people feel "rich". You see, anyone who spends enough time playing these money-swallowing machines, learning the rules of the room - which machine gives out the most tickets for the least amount of tokens - can proudly priss over to the counter with a swagger in thier step, plop down that heap of tickets as the envy of all the other gamers, and "buy" a bag-full of goodies. Sure, they could've taken that same 20 bucks to the dollar store and bought the same bag-full of crap, but it wouldn't have come with the 3 hours of entertainment, the opportunity to "be the best", nor the temporary bragging rights that this affords.

It's sad, really. It makes me feel depressed. And so, except for Chuck E. Cheese ( a well-lit, clean, cheerful place), I hope I never have to see the inside of another arcade again.

That is, unless it is the only place I can play some sweet Galaga.